Dear Miss Advised,
I’ve got myself into a bit of a conundrum.
There is this girl on my course who I fancy; she is as bright as a button and as sweet as a rose. We’ve known each other for a while now but unfortunately our encounters are still limited to pleasantries and the occasional anecdote about a dead pet. There are some days when it feels like we are really hitting it off, but most days I find myself wondering if she remembers my name. I do have a track record of not taking chances and then beating myself up for it later. So, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to make an unambiguous move and see if we can become more than just friends. And I have! My plan was to sweep her off her feet with some insightful general knowledge facts, and a topical joke or two. However, what I ended up doing was confessing my love for this show I know she is a big fan of. I basically claimed to be the biggest fan of a show, which, needless to say, I do not watch. Now we have a date for next week (which is really great), in which she said she can’t wait to talk all about how that show changed our lives. I have tried watching the show but I can’t seem to get past the first episode; the story line is convoluted and the characters very one-dimensional.
What should I do? I really like this girl but don’t want her to catch me out on a lie on our first date. Furthermore, I’m worried she only wanted to go out with me because of that lie. Should I just cancel the date and move on?
A Distressed Anon.
Dear Distressed Anon,
Firstly, allow me to assure you that we’ve all done stupid things in the name of love. Facing a crush usually results in a tied tongue, sweaty palms, and a waterfall of gibberish coming out of your mouth, which you swear sounded like words in your head. So, in the name of nervous people everywhere, I commend you on your bravery.
It sounds to me like you really like this girl, so I wouldn’t give up on her just because of one moment of poor judgment.
Now, it seems like you have three possible choices available to you this week:
- Becoming a social recluse, locking yourself in your room and forcing yourself to watch that show until you hate it so much you start liking it.
- Missing the date, learning the girl’s schedule and making sure you never cross paths with her again.
- Showing up to the date owning up to the lie and seeing if you can both move past this.
You did say you wanted to take more chances in your life, and owning up to the lie and going on that date is a great way to start. It might pay off, and wouldn’t that be wonderful?
It’s very possible that she will appreciate your honesty and might even find it a little flattering that you went out your way to become well versed in something that she is so passionate about. Worry not, I’m sure she has other interests! Trying asking her about those, tell her about yours, and before you know it you’ll have a conversation going! And who knows? Maybe in a couple of months you’ll both laugh about this incident.
An important thing to remember when going on this date is not to let your nerves get the better of you, there is no reason for you to be nervous. A date should be a pleasant experience.
And, finally, remember that if you don’t hit it off, it’s not the end of the world, you still might gain a friend (and a great story to tell at dinner parties).