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Photo Credit: Delphine Thevenet

How women might play a part in misogyny

In today’s world, what it means to be a feminist is sometimes misinterpreted. So, let’s settle this now: I am not striving for an uprising of females over males. I believe in equality. I believe that women should be paid as much as men when doing the same job. I also believe that men should be able to be stay-at-home fathers if they want to.

When it comes to outfits, I have always been outraged by the fact that in some aspects of our society we may encourage women to dress in a certain way rather than teaching men not to rape.

If a man ever comments on how or what I should wear, I always tell him that it is not anybody’s business but mine. However, I recently found myself confronted by a male friend commenting on a woman’s outfit, saying that her heels were ‘slutty’. I don’t know what bothered me more, the fact that this friend could be sexist, or the idea that I have already worn higher heels, thus making me a ‘slut’ in his eyes (if heels can ever be ‘slutty’).

How naïve was I. How many times my girlfriends and I have judged a woman based solely on the amount of fabric or lack thereof that she wore. I have been living in the UK for 5 months now. The use of makeup is very different from my country. But why should different necessarily mean wrong? I don’t know the answer as to why this should be the case.

It wasn’t until recently, after reuniting with my close friends, that I realised I had also been slut-shaming woman and have been doing so for a while — maybe even my whole life. One thing I have always known and admired about the UK is that people can dress how they want. Why should we dress according to other people’s tastes?

We are never satisfied. When people dress differently it’s weird and they don’t belong, but when people dress too similarly to each other we say that they lack personality. Who am I to judge if the weather is warm enough to wear a crop top? Everyone is unique, and if they are comfortable wearing what they’re wearing, then that’s enough.

I don’t think it’s possible to change overnight, but I will think twice before making a snap judgment. The saying “do not judge a book by its cover” has never made as much sense to me as it does now.

About Delphine Thevenet


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