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Farc Crisis

A Final Word from Columbia

“A recent attack by FARC on our capital and the presidential palace unfortunately undermines all peace deals that the Colombian Government and FARC have been attempting to achieve. It is clear that FARC cannot yet be trusted to complete peace deals. It is with my deepest regret that I announce this, but please be assured that the Colombian Government will not rest until our brave soldiers have been avenged.”» >

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FARC Farc up Big Time

Breaking news:

The Colombia cabinet has retired to the nearby town Medellin after the successful peace talks to have a ‘relaxing break with their family’.

In reality, several thousand FARC troops are marching on the capital in an attempt to destroy the government of Colombia. In response, the Colombian forces are on high alert in the capital city of Bogata and war is underway. FARC forces are outnumbered by the Colombian Armed Forces and their traditional guerrilla warfare tactics will not suffice in the city.» >

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“Crack”down from the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration The DEA, part of the U.S.

Department of Justice, has now responded to the escalating situation in Colombia by announcing the launch of a massive attack on cocaine trafficking. Chuck Rosenberg, the Acting Administrator of the DEA, told us his intentions in an interview earlier today: “The Farc militias should not have access to resources, as they contribute – among other groups – to destroying Colombia and inhibiting Democracy.

It is in everyone’s interest that we, the American government, intervene to help liberate the Colombian people from this internal violence.” New measures are now being taken to stop cocaine from crossing Colombian borders, including restrictions on imports of other products such as Coffee and refined petroleum, as it has been recently reported that the same trade routes and facilities are used to export drugs to America.» >

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America pushes to restrict tourism unless Peace deals are reached

American officials are increasingly worried in regards to the recent clashes in violence which have been occurring in Colombia since the Peace deals failed.

In the bomb attack outside the presidential palace five American tourists have been confirmed dead, with twenty Americans injured, although identification is still taking place, so this figure could rise.

American officials are publishing new travel rules and are believed to be about to urge American citizens to cease travel to Colombia, in response it is believed that travel insurance will rise due to the safety concerns.» >

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Disgraced Colombian ‘Mole’ replaced by Finance Minister

The roles of the ex-Foreign Minister has been incorporated into the role of the Minister of Finance, say the Colombian government.

Since the Colombians decided that the Mole in their Midst was dealing primarily with economic affairs abroad, in  particular with China, the Finance Minister has stepped up to the plate and is ready to take over from her disgraced former cabinet member.

The Colombian government may not be imploding yet, but it might struggle to get back on track with its aims and focuses with regards to FARC.» >

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Peace Deal must go to a Referendum

The Daily Farc
La Republica Declaraciòn de La Corte Suprema de Justicia de Colombia, The Supreme Court of Colombia has officially declared earlier today that any peace deal between the Government and the FARC leadership must again be subjected to a national referendum. The Judges were very clear upon the fact that failure to submit any peace negotiation results to the people would result in the implementation of any measure related to the deal as being unconstitutional.
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BREAKING: Colombian Foreign Minister Joins FARC movement

In a series of breaking events, the revelation that FARC troops entered a church and killing the congregation has led to a governmental crisis in the Colombian government.

It was revealed that the Foreign Minster had serious doubts about the competency of the Colombian President’s path to combating FARC, and attempted to plot a coup to overthrow the president.

The Foreign Minister has just joined the FARC movement, leaking official government policy to the group.» >

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