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Goalkeeper by Jeffrey F Lin on Unsplash
Goalkeeper by Jeffrey F Lin on Unsplash

Fantasy Premier League – Don’t Look Back in Anger

The final trimester of this Premier League campaign is finally upon us, and for most Fantasy Managers, it comes with great pain. Our journey has survived some perilous times, especially in recent months. In the East Midlands, a party had well and truly started at Jamie Vardy’s house, but was drawn to an early conclusion as he left to witness the birth of his child, missing two full games (Right, Vards, nothing to do with Skittles Vodka…).

Then, on one crisp Winter morn, hundreds of thousands of managers, all at once, had an epiphany; “Liverpool Double Gameweek? That can only mean one thing… Mané Triple Captain!”, and the finale to that tale is one of woe and suffering, so I will be sure to tread lightly as to deter any possible anguish.

What about the unfortunate Rashford, whose titanium spine eventually fractured under the immense weight of the Manchester United squad. I’ve given a piggyback ride to a single person in the past and found it quite difficult; I don’t even want to imagine the state of my vertebrae after 22 people.

Let us dilute the despondency for a moment and focus on the fruitful facets this season has offered. Trent Alexander-Arnold is the success story us neutrals could only have wished for, acting as an extra midfielder in that Liverpool side that eat, sleep and breathe goals. He has transcended the potential that even Scouse intransigents bore him, smashing the ceiling with confidence. He’ll assist worldies, he’ll assist tap-ins. He’ll even assist your Nan crossing the road.

On the topic of assists – death, taxes, and Kevin De Bruyne. This man has a propensity for picking out his teammates in the box, and he does so with regularity. I hereby propose that someone creates the long-anticipated sequel Bend It Like Kevin, ‘cos he’s really giving Becks a run for his money. This FPL veteran should be a season-stayer in any team once he remains uninjured, and will be one of the first names in my squad next season.

And it would be remiss of me to leave out the exploits of Jimenéz and Traoré. They have hunted down ball after ball like wolves (heh), and this has reflected in their points tally. Both players are top of their pack in value for money, consistently providing returns to their managers.

As we reflect over this somewhat arduous period, it’s easy to get lost in the moment. But don’t fret – bad decisions and hapless times will befall most, if not all, managers. Just keep smiling as those inevitable words roll off your tongue; “Hey, there’s always next year”.

About Ian Downey


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